My dad’s childhood home, which he described with heartbreaking beauty in his own memoir, Son of a Midnight Land, was not a safe one. Abuses were doled out regularly, but worst of all, at random. When he was drafted and went to Vietnam at age 18, my dad told me he found it relaxing. Back home and married, he vowed to do better than his dad. But unless a carpenter is taught a new trade, he will keep using a hammer. My mom left. Dad was suddenly a single father. He began drinking. And the Sorry I Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of My Freedom July 4th Shirt moreover I will buy this family cycle began to repeat itself. Hurt people hurt people. For 15 years I’d been raised, spoken to, and educated in the damaging emotional language of my family, and I was fluent in it.
I saw all of this in that moment on the Sorry I Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of My Freedom July 4th Shirt moreover I will buy this porch. But it took the sting out—it suddenly didn’t feel as personal. This wasn’t about me being unlovable. We do the best we can with the skills we have been given. The anger lifted, and a sense of compassion flooded me. I saw my grandfather not as a villain, but a hurt man. I saw my father not as a villain, but as a hurt man. And I saw myself, a hurt young woman, who, if I didn’t learn a new way, would repeat some variant of the cycle.